Every generation has its band that kids try to revive by first disguising their horrible taste with tongue in cheek irony. Unfortunately, this generation has chosen Limp Bizkit. Like the herpes you contracted in Vegas, Fred Durst and the homiez just don't want to go away and, go figure, Lil' Wayne's Cash Money label is fronting the bill for what will prove to be their largest embarrassing failure to date. "Stampede of the Disco Elephants" (good fucking lord) is set for release sometime very soon and the album's first single "Ready to Go" is already the worst song I've heard in easily twelve years. Derivative, mindless, uninspired, and full of quasi racist nods to hip hop culture, Limp Bizkit has devolved from adolescent wiggerdom to your fat uncle Ted whose latest jail stint for domestic violence ended up being worse when they found the portable meth lab in the trunk. Fresh out of jail, Ted is ready to crash every family party with hardened tails from the inside. The nieces and nephews aren't buying the dipshit street cred, and I highly doubt anyone will be buying Durst's latest bullshit in droves as well.
As a recent Kerrang! article so eloquently pointed out, the Biz are so proud of this new record (all finished and "ready to go," pun intended) that they haven't played a single song from it at any of their recent live shows! In between hopping around, grabbing his tiny balls, and trying to influence young men at shows to beat each other into oblivion and rape women, it is difficult to find time to look down at the set list and make adjustments, but c'mon Freddy, give us the goods brah! Of course fans want to hear the classics like "Nookie," "Break Stuff," and the one where he talks about the cookie...wait, the car rolling down the street...whatever, bros didn't come to hear music, they came to take off their shirts, hug it out, maybe play a game of just the tip, and get drunk enough to break a girl's fucking face tonight. That being said, everyone should lay off Durst for not revealing the new material yet. His fans don't care about new music, only taking ironic selifies of themselves at the show for their asshole friends to see and some good old fashioned misguided violence. Like it or not, this band serves a purpose in our culture, someone has to appeal to the lowest of the low common denominators.
- Joe