Nine Inch Nails- Hesitation Marks

 Anyone who has known me for longer than two hours knows that I have been a borderline obsessive Nine Inch Nails fan since I was old enough to ride my bike to local record stores and buy their CD's. I've always felt like they were a band that had an intricate universe of their own to explore and enjoy. There were all types of rare and unique experiences they offered in many different ways that 90% of radio bands did not offer. When a new NIN album comes out there seemed to be an extensive amount of work putting into album artwork, music videos, live production, and of course good music. It seems Trent has long left those days of carefully crafting unique music (for Nine Inch Nails) behind him. I sat down and gave this album about twenty listens from start to finish before I blurted out how much I loved or hated the day it was leaked online, as I saw thousands of people online did. This band to me has always been a much more personal listening experience than just hearing the "new hit single" on the radio and spewing out your dipshit opinion 20 seconds into the first track.

In my opinion, good musicians always surprise you with brand new batch of music with similar core ingredients. It's the same role comedians have to take on. A good comic can't come out and simply a variation of the same jokes expecting laughs and it's just the same for musicians who can't keep re-releasing the same material. I knew that the new NIN would sound nothing like his most recent releases (and thank fucking God for that) but I was still hoping it wouldn't be different in such an awful way.

Let's just get straight to it, this album fucking sucks. It was a huge disappoint not only as a huge Nine Inch Nails fan, but as a fan of good music in general. I was by no means hoping to hear Trent recycle any old guitar parts, lyrics, or melodies from previous albums, I was just hoping the album didn't sound like fucking club music. The reason Trent is such a hero of mine musically is because he always reinvents himself in an appealing way. To me, it seems he was trying too hard to NOT sound like his old music to be able to say he was trying something different. His music always gave me a visual of his studio work flow. I could always envision all the different live drummers, session guitarists, pianists, and it always made the album more appealing. All I can picture is Trent on his laptop with headphones making this incredibly stale sounding record. It was always great to hear organic instruments get married up with electronics.. but I think on this album Trent kept all of his guitars and live drummers out of the studio.

 

The first single was "Came Back Haunted" which I felt was incorrectly named. The title should have been "Came Back Dance Pop" because there isn't anything "haunting" about this song. The video was done by a hero of mine David Lynch. When I first heard of the collaboration I pissed myself a little. What could be better? Trent makes weird but interesting music and David does the same for film. This video sincerely pissed me off. Apparently Michael J. Fox was camera man for this sack of shit video and Trent's three year old son Lazarus must have been responsible for the visuals because it just looks flat out silly. 

So why bother even giving it one star let alone 1.5 after all the shit I'm talking on it? I do respect any human being who is their own person, especially if it isn't naturally a particular popular style. I think it would have been easy for Trent to come back with live drums and screaming guitars and please the "true fans" but I think the true fans understand that the only reason they have respect for Trent is because his music was something he personally felt to be right. The more I read and listened to his explanations of the albums creative process the less I could justify actually liking the music. It basically sounds like he made a bunch of electronic demos on his laptop over the course of a few months, got a handful of extremely talented musicians to turn the album into something live and then abruptly went back to everything sounding like someone who just recently purchased a drum machine.

 The respect for the album came from one specific track off the album and the behind the scenes look at just how much work is being put into the live aspect of the current NIN lineup. It was the Trent Reznor I had originally fallen in love with! He didn't just have a cool idea, he was actually executing the idea both aggressively and successfully. My only obvious complaint is that the music sounds the exact same (at best) as it did for the last 15 years, minus the fact that Trent is now struggling to sing as loud when he was younger. I was super bummed to find out Adrien Belew would not be a part of the NIN lineup as previously announced. I think he would've taken the sound into an entirely different realm. As posted by both Trent and Adrien in different words, that lineup did not work. So the live show looks fucking flawless and Nine Inch Nails will always be not so arguably one of the best live bands ever, but I feel he's milked that long enough and needs to focus more on presenting better music to compliment his production.

I did also find it to be refreshingly different that the album was released in two different mastering formats. One release is made for people who put the album on their iPod and play it through their computer speakers that are probably plugged in backwards without really detecting any differences in the audio quality at all. You can turn it all the way without any of the frequencies fighting for your ears attention. The other format is not necessarily meant to played at a loud volume but preserves the full range. So basically one sounds cool loud and the other sounds fucking amazing at a more reasonable level. That to me is something brand new for national acts to take part in and was a cool thing to hear about.

Various Methods of Escape

This track is hands down the best Nine Inch Nails track since The Fragile in 1999. I had goosebumps throughout, it had new elements old tracks did not and was just down right a damn good song. The music evolved from electronic to a gritty live band sound and the lyrics instantly struck a main vein for me. It to me is what makes a great Nine Inch Nails song. It tells a story both musically and lyrically, it starts in one place and ends up in another and it gets stuck in your head! My only "complaint" on the song was the trend this album has of overusing the seemingly exact same club music drum sequence, but when the live drums and guitars kick in near the end all is well again. In my eyes, this song is the one track that Trent kept of the failed experiment of creating a live band around the electronic based record.

Now to be fair, other tracks on this album did grow on me a tiny bit, but they were of no comparison to this track or his lyrical content on.. pretty much With Teeth (2005) and back. When I heard tracks like "A copy of a" I could not stop from laughing. The music sounded like someone programmed the song on ecstasy and the lyrics make Lady Gaga look like a fucking poet. The song "Satellite" is a great example of how fucking awful this album is. The music sounds like it was made in twenty minutes in Garageband by a stoned teenage girl and the lyrics were clearly an inspiration while Trent sat on Google Maps while stalking someone. Lyrically the album makes it clear he doesn't have much to say in the vein of Nine Inch Nails anymore.. so my advice is don't! He'll moan a few corny lines and then it's followed up by extremely over used delay and effects.



By in large, it was great to see Trent challenging his audience in a different way but I felt this was far too far of a leap for people who aren't deaf to get into. The video above is Trent in 1997 before the Fragile had been released and he explains that if a record is "safe" that it's ridiculous. That was when he claimed the Fragile was to be a much more hip hop sounding record, and then didn't. That's exactly the attitude I respect and feel has been pulled off on his records before, just not as of too recent. I feel he's getting lazier and lazier when it comes to writing Nine Inch Nails music. His soundtrack work is impeccable on the other hand.

For someone that I've always drew inspiration from on a writing and recording aspect of music for tips and tricks, he really seems to be relying too heavily on laptop sounding plug-ins and almost factory preset sounding sequences. There's no soul anymore! It's just radio pop now! He's missing the grit and girth that even his soundtrack work with Atticus Ross has had. The album is definitely worth a listen if you're curious, but I would go into listen to the album as if it were a dance pop album so you're not disappointed.

Another huge complaint of mine is seeing how insanely expensive it is to see business Reznor with a band that said he would never step foot on stage again. Back in 2009, I saw "the last" NIN show in Los Angeles and didn't pay half the price you have to pay now to see them from a mile away in an arena. This was something that all bands claimed to be out of their hands but Trent always seemed to pull strings to bring prices down for fans. That's yet another ingredient missing as a result that he "came back greedy."

 Am I the only one who has a problem with him directly ripping himself off? Did he just draw a complete blank and just recycle the same album artwork? Were times that tough creatively? The artwork on this new album and fonts are exactly the same from the Downward Spiral, even admitted by Trent himself. This again cannot be pulled off in any other creative outlet like movies or comedy. Everything from the music, lyrics, even the artwork sounds rushed, boring and uninteresting.

Trent, my man.. STOP! Make soundtracks, make breakfast for your lovely children and make love to your gorgeous wife. You said yourself that if you found yourself to be a radically different human being that it would be time to do something else. Do that. I think he came to that conclusion when he formed How to Destroy Angels but when it didn't make half the sales a new NIN record would, it was time for a comeback!


-Novak

Coroner- "Punishment for Decadence"

Released in 1988, "Punishment for Decadence" is still the standard bearer for technically proficient thrash and in my opinion the best European thrash release of the 80s. Miles ahead of their peers in terms of musicianship and lyrical content, Coroner's second record displayed melody, harsh grooves, and enough speed to satisfy any thrash craving. "Skeleton on Your Shoulder" and "Absorbed" demonstrate how to perfectly blend proficiency with memorable songwriting, making this album digestible and enjoyable despite completely mind blowing. Guitarist Tommy T. Baron's solos on this album are some of the best in thrash history, especially on tracks like "Masked Jackal" and "New Breed" which showcase the band's capability to warm the listener up before taking them on a whirlwind of progression. That was one of Coroner's best traits, their songs were constantly forward moving and avoided stagnation at all costs, something that many progressive and technical bands fail to achieve.

"Skeleton On Your Shoulder"

1988 was a pretty pivotal year for thrash metal as "...And Justice for All" and "So Far, So Good, So What?" represented thrash metal at its musical apex and in the midst of a period when bands were taking the genre to its musical limit in terms of technicality and intricate songwriting. Likewise, the infant genre of death metal was challenging audiences' ideas of extremity with records like "Leprosy" by Death and "Malleus Maleficarum" by Pestilence. In a nutshell, "Punishment for Decadence" was one of thrash metal's swansongs before the genre faded into obscurity. Although not the most commercially successful, it would prove to be extremely influential on many emerging bands such as Gorguts and Suffocation who in the coming years would challenge the limitations of their musical genres in a similar vein as "Decadence..." did. If you're looking for an important piece of thrash history, I highly recommend picking this up. If you have this gem and you've forgotten about it, here's your reminder.

- Joe

Overrated Bands/Albums

I feel like this post is going to take up a lot of time. I only have a handful of bands that come to mind, but I'm sure I'll end up going off a little more than planned. These are bands or albums I've heard people rave about for years and flat out NEVER understood why. This does NOT mean they weren't influential to other bands, just overrated. Where to begin? I can't say these will be in any real order after the first handful.. 

I was just talking to Woods tonight about these dorks. Why did anyone ever buy their records? I get that it was "edgy" back in the 70's, but I was born in the 80's. There isn't anything "edgy" or dangerous about a bunch of 70 year old men in clown makeup singing songs they wrote three decades ago. I also can't think of anyone who deserves the money and fame any less than Gene Simmons. Personality aside, the music was garbage. Anyone who says "yeah man, but their first records were awesome. Check em out" - Go fuck yourself. This sack of shit band did not pioneer, lead, or invent anything.

 

Now I actually do like a few of these records. Let's be honest though, who can REALLY tell any of their albums apart? With the obvious lead singer changes early on being the only true sound change. They should've made ONE record with 100 songs and saved themselves the embarrassment of putting out the same album 40 times. I've had many conversations with respected musicians who fight left and right to defend this band. "Hey man, stick with what works. That's their sound and they're not changing it!" I can agree with stick with what works, and I'm all for a band who has their own sound.. but if 40 fucking years into your career you're still making records that sound EXACTLY like your first few albums.. STOP! A decent band, but extremely overrated. 

I know, I know. I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this one, but come on guys, just think about it. I can absolutely not go without a very FEW Rolling Stones records, but this band over stayed their welcome years and years and years ago. If I wrote 2 albums a year, every year for decades I'd be bound to have a few songs stick too. I hate to say it, but that's how I feel about the Stones. Oddly enough, I truly consider the Stones to be ONE of the greatest rock n' roll band of the world, but overall an overrated band in general. If they wanted to be THE greatest rock n' roll bands, they would've quit decades ago.

I never cared for Bob Dylan. Now before anyone tries getting too defensive on me not liking his voice because it's not perfect.. suck it. There are plenty of singers I love for having unique sounding pipes, but Mr. Dylan is not one of them. Great lyrics? I guess. Maybe if my dad didn't have these albums on so often I'd appreciate them more, but I highly doubt it. Mediocre music at best.

This should actually be my number one. I fucking HATE Black Sabbath and anything Ozzy has ever been a part of. He didn't write his own lyrics, which were mediocre at best, and Sabbath was always cheesy and corny as hell to me. Now I know this band DID in fact influence many bands after.. but I still consider them to be overrated. I don't have anything else to say about this band. Overrated and untalented. 

 

Why is Jay-Z famous again? Now I may not be the best judge of "character" here considering I don't listen to any rap what so ever, but Jay-Z is one of those celebrities I see and instantly get pissed off about. His music is bland, repetitive, and corny as hell. I understand the difference between a decent album and a "legend" and I never understood why this guy was put into legend. 

 

Sucks. ONE song I like by these guys is "Zoostation" for the lyrics. Other than that the music was shit with far too many effects. I lost any remaining respect for these dorks when I saw "It Might Get Loud" and "The Edge" explained how under all the layers of effects that he really isn't playing much at all. What? That's like telling your girlfriend after amazing sex that it wasn't really your cock, but a strap on. Your girlfriend isn't going to find your sex too pleasing after that, if she ever did at all. Well that's kind of like how it was for me with U2. 

 

Yeah I know, you love this band. I did at one point, too. They have a few classic albums that will forever remind me of my childhood, but this is just a younger version of Kiss. Jerry Only is a super nice guy and all, but hang up the fuckin hat man. All of their 50 lineup changes and tours? They're living in their own shadows. Time was up a few albums before Graves joined mid 90's and it's certainly up now in 2013! 

Never liked these guys and never, ever understood how anyone else did. Their music had energy, sure, but so does a 10 year old boy after a pack of candy and a trip to Chuck E Cheese's.. both of these usually leads to vomiting. It wasn't until I met a lot of Wood's friends (who are now my friends too of course) when I thought the only people who REALLY listened to Metallica were drunken red necks and Beavis and Butthead. I will go as far as say they did pave the way for about 10,000 bands to follow, but I can't stress enough how much I dislike this band. 

Eh, that's all for now. I'm starting work now on the most UNDER rated bands. That should be a little less negative.

-Novak

My extended thoughts on NIN touring again

As most of you know, I'm mildly obsessed (to say the very least) with Nine Inch Nails. I probably know more about the band and and Trent than Trent himself. You also may know that I have gone to well over 20 shows of theirs, including the "very last" three NIN shows in LA. When I found out that they were "starting from scratch" (with two old members) and extensively touring again - a simple facebook status would not suffice..

The very last shows of the "Wave Goodbye Tour" took place at the Wiltern in Los Angeles, which was SUPPOSED to be the last time NIN was on stage ever again was absolutely magical. There were guest appearances by almost 20 collaborators over the years, including old live members, studio musicians, and friends. The club was wall to wall with screaming and admiring fans of all ages. I lost my voice and hearing within the first song. The tour was the "Wave Goodbye Tour" for obvious reasons. He had mentioned in several interviews that he didn't want to keep touring songs he didn't feel as connected to lyrically anymore, that he never wanted to treat it as a job. He said he would more than likely tour again, just not as NIN. He also added he had several projects he wanted to do outside of NIN, one which was becoming a family man. I had nothing but respect for the man when he stated these things. 

So after NIN "broke up" he did some pretty amazing soundtrack work, and then pulled an electronic "Wings" and started "How to Destroy Angels" with his producer and wife. How to Destroy Angels is by far the worst music I have ever heard him be involved with. They used some of the coolest, most unique instruments I've ever seen to make some of the worst music I've ever heard. Not much more to say about that..

So after Trent realized "Oh shit, I called that last tour Wave Goodbye, didn't I?" he waves hello and ventures back on the road with the band he just claimed had run it's course. Jackass! Now to those that aren't aware, NIN would ALWAYS have at least 3-4 years in between records and touring. So the fact that he "waited a while" to tour again is complete bullshit. The dude got fuckin bored and broke and wants to tour again. Which honestly, if I could tour in a successfull band like that, I'd be bored as shit at home, too! Just be careful before you make such a bold statement for a few years about how NIN as a live band is done, call out other bands who have done "goodbye" tours and how yours is so legit..

Now to be fair, I will absolutely make every single show of theirs that I can, especially considering one of my all time favorite guitarist will be in this lineup, Adrien Belew. I'm HOPEFUL that this whole "starting from scratch" thing means 100% new material. Nine Inch Nails will forever be that band that I hear about and it feels like someone's talking about my own band. Something I always respected about this band was always the hoensty and goal of doing things a little differently than most acts. Seeing how the tour hasn't happened yet, there is still a chance that this shit will blow me away, especially with the lineup he has this time around, but we'll see..

-Novak

Worthless Post

Regardless of how long this nerdy and vulgar post is, no amount of "blogging" will explain or relieve the frustration and simple confusion on the subject of music and musicians being "worthless" or "less than" in this world. 

Before I go off, my parents are the definition of understanding and supportive parents. My dad was a musician and my mom loves seeing how driven I am with anything at all. In fact, everyone in my life is. 90% of my friends are musicians and even down to cousins, my family supports it.

This is the video that made me go off on this rant:

Where do I begin? First off.. what is she contributing as a mother to her childs life, other than frustrating him in an already frustrating and disheartening life? What the fuck does SHE do where she can come home and belittle her child for doing something creative and inspiring? There is no profession or salary that entitles you to belittle another human being, let alone your own child. You think because you donated your 84 cents to a child cancer fund in line at McDonalds that you're bettering the world, so now you can beat your wife, belittle your child, and do whatever you want now? You think you deserve a medal because you threw your diet Pepsi in the blue bin in Wal-Mart while you're walking to your Hummer? Dorks!

Do you know how many times I've had someone say that music is a dead end path? I see the glazed over look in most peoples' eyes when I say I'm a musician or that I run my own recording studio. I get it. There's no 401k or retirement plan in this shit. Or all the countless people that are too afraid to go down it as far as I am so they go to school to become a lawyer or to own their own business. What the fuck is THAT doing for the world? Is Cleveland "on the map" now that your business has some flashy numbers and your car can go faster than mine? Is that what we should be contributing to this world? Larger bank accounts and not larger imaginations? Well then shit, count me the fuck out.

I believe everyone should do what feels right for them, as cliche as that sounds. You don't have to be a musician for me to think you're kicking ass in life. If you love your office job and being a family man, by all means man, own it! Be inspired and contribute to something or someone that feels pertinent to your life. My rage comes from people who don't contribute anything to their lives or the world around them, so they belittle someone when a friend or family member of theirs goes down a path they personally wouldn't go down.

Not to mention, look at the facts of how music started a revolution in the 60s. An era his mother probably lived in herself. Something as ugly and awful as war was changed and saved by a collection of songs. Music helped with that! Lyrics and songs that took people out of the daily grind and helped literally the entire world. That revolution is growing by each year.

Also, look outside the US at how music brings people together. Look at all the tribes in Africa who join together in song with spiritual rituals. Do you think those people are doing it to look cool? Do you think parading around with face paint with their balls hanging out, looking like fucking crack heads gives them any sort of stock options? No.. well, maybe. I don't really know how that stuff works. Countries all over the world use music to bring people, ideas, and races together. It's not just "rocking out" in America.

I know i'm not the only one with this, but music has absolutely saved my life. If I didn't start playing drums back when i was the pimply nerd getting shoved around in my NOFX t-shirt, I would have been dead before high school. Sounds morbid but it's true. Hearing music back then was the light that christians describe as God. Sorry mom, but Jesus doesn't do it for me. Music does. And at first it was just an escape. Something I did alone before friends could play. Then it turned into "hey man, i've got a guitar at my house you can play.. let's jam!" and then everyone wants to get involved. Now instead of partying, we're at my studio making music all night!

Nowadays, I run my own recording studio. I watch guys come in stressed out from life's routine and see their faces light up with inspiration as their own music gets played back through my monitors. I've helped bands with little to no money put out music that they've used as an escape, of ALL genres. Do you realize how amazing that makes me feel that I've made them feel that way? I've inspired people of all ages and genres to put something out they believed was worth hearing. And with recording studios being such a blatant rip off, how are these guys supposed to get their music out there? How can a kid in Washington get ahold of an inspiring bands full length? "Welp, sorry.. you can't until we save up 10 grand" is not an option.That's just another example of how music can turn someone's life around.

Now not only does their music on that record inspire other people, but those guys leave excited as hell about what they've accomplished. Which in return affects their daily lives. Better moods! Now tell me, does this kids mom feel that way when she walks out of her office after a long day of her over weight boss breathing down her neck? No. Which is probably why she takes it out on her kid.

Now.. granted there are an abundance of kids out there who may have a talent but no drive to do anything with it. I'm not saying "dude man, let's get high and play guitar man. my moms yellin n' shit." - but the kid in this video wasn't posting a cover of his favorite Seether song (and thank fucking god for that!) He was posting a detailed, educated review about an amp he had. He was inspired about a sound he had created and he was trying (and clearly it worked) to inspire someone else in the process.

Anyone who calls music "immature" is a fucking clown. Playing shows and watching people be moved. Physically or mentally is a feeling that no business plan would ever make me feel.

Ultimately: In a world full of complete shit - it's amazing to help people. Any way you can. Whether they drop $5 on the ground and you hand it back to them, or you help a band put out a record that moved at very, very least the members in the band. If you can't accept that, I couldn't care any less. I've never felt a connection to the blandness of society or culture anyways.



- Novak

5 albums/bands I wish never happened

I've written about my favorite albums I listened to in 2011, favorite 10 albums of all time, most listened to album, blah blah blah. Fuck all that sugar coated shit. These albums I'm going to post about were made for dipshits and mongoloids. Albums that I not only cringe when hearing, but just cannot stand to hear someone tell me about how good it really is or how I should "give it a chance."

#1 is this fuckin bitch. Even googling her name for this picture made me mad. Why the FUCK are people seriously paying money for her desperate attempt at getting your attention? Now granted, there are hundreds of bands from the 50s-current day that just blow my mind as to how people got so into.. but the reasons people give for listening to her? Originality? Daring? Wait, what?

Now for the people who get their music spoon fed to them from Mtv and modern radio, your opinion is voided out, regardless of how insane your reason for liking her is. But i've had people who honestly like music find an interest in this thing, and still call it original. People who have heard Peaches, people who have seen and witnessed other oddities before. There's a reason no one dresses in meat dresses and kermit the frog costumes.. because you look like a jackass. Creativity does not equal you wearing dumb shit on stage.

I honestly cannot tell the difference of her song coming on or Katy Peary, and all the other modernized britteny spears bullshit. It's all the same dance club beats with the same cock juggling synth leads for people to listen to with their heads in their ass.


anyway..

#2: These phony dorks were a revelation for the weird kids getting beat up by quarter backs. It was their calling. Some moby looking retard with what looked like a chewing gum wrapper on his chin, screaming about getting up and getting down with the sickness. I got fucking ear sickness after I heard this band, and i'd gladly take the beating from a quarter back than take the beating my ears took when this shit for brains band pissed in my ears with their fart metal.

Now i don't know which album this is, but that guy on the cover looks tough as fuck. Just about as tough as the kid who has someone elses mustang as his profile picture. I know guys, reality is rough. But it's ok. Record labels are here for you. There are plenty of bands circulating now thanks to these butt humpers for you to get your emotional connection with. Hang in there guys

#3: The THESE GUYS! Thankfully this trend has mostly died out. However, back in high school i worked at a Spencers and had to listen to these guys slam their 5 inch wangs into their guitars just about all day every day. This was the start of tattooed emo boys barging their way into the scene with their "tough guy" looks and style. It's like justin bieber raided motley crues closet. Stop playing music.

They're spending more time with their hair dressers than the rehearsal room. If you want to look like a complete douchebag, 2012 won't mind. There are PLENTY of tattooed retards, hobbling around talking about "metal" like it doesn't think they're a complete joke. I mean, do you really leave the house looking how you do without thinking someones going to beat you up?

What are these guys doing now that noone gives a fuck about their boy band? Are you going to job interviews with your fingerless gloves and sleeveless Iron Maiden t-shirts? Get out of here..

#4: This goes for the band, not specifically this "masterpiece" or whatever the fuck Tom DeLonge called it in all the interviews leading up this bands first release. Yeah, we get it. Blink broke up so now it's a race to see who can hold the attention span of the 14 year old girls you guys write music to longer.

As a fan of blink growing up, hearing the guys getting a band together, talking about boobs and skateboarding - it was just about as good as it got. But all the space themes and hype you tried to create upon release for this album? He made a point to say that it would be bigger than the beatles reuniting, or jesus coming down to earth. "What we're planning on is larger than life and will raise the bar for bands, forever" - for an exact quote. I have yet to hear this "larger than life" sounding back.. but i did however hear your whiny U2 cover band. Fuck you

Why do you feel the need to sing like you are ejaculating into another mans mouth? Sure, your voice was almost pretty whiny but man, blow your load elsewhere. Every song sounds like an intro. Leads you up and just drops you on your face in bummerville. Next

#5: The term "punk rock" was raped harder than all the child molesters in prison combined when this bag of shit band, and all the 20,034,393 bands that branched off and or formed after this band got stupid popular. But to each his own, right? Explain that to my blood pressure when it rises when i think of that douchebag pointing to his head and going "some girls are craaazy!"

Now i know it's not exactly the hardest band or style to make fun of, but come on kids. These dorks are how old now? Please tell me these songs weren't current situations you found yourselves in. It's a journal entry you found when you were 14, right?

From saves the day, my chemical romance, fall out boy, and all the other tight t-shirt, socially awkward kids who joined bands to impress and see their high school crush in a bra.. stop. Buy her some roses or something. Just put the guitar down. I'm asking nicely.

...I'll buy you tacos?


-Novak

A Rant About Motorhead and the "Lemmy" Documentary

Motorhead is not only one of my favorite bands, they are a band that I have the utmost respect for. While many seem to superficially and ironically worship Lemmy as a cultural icon, Motorhead has certainly stood the test of time by continuously releasing qualitative material passionately with their trademark frontman in the driver's seat. Despite four decades of material, I still feel that a substantial majority of Motorhead's best work is overlooked by many individuals with "Ace of Spades" crammed into their Itunes. "Another Perfect Day," for example, is arguably the band's most ecclectic, innovative, and (go figure) ignored record. Ex-Thin Lizzy guitarist Brian Robertson's guitar work on this record took Motorhead's already ferocious sound to another level and significantly influenced many speed metal and thrash metal bands in the years that followed. Long story short, listen to this record.

Wes Orshoski of Huron, OH recently completed a docmentary on the life, music, and influence of Lemmy in his recent documentary appropriately titled "Lemmy: 49% Motherfucker, 51% Son of a Bitch." With testimonials from musicians, bandmates, and confidants, the documentary will hopefully introduce Lemmy to a new generation and reinforce why so many of us appreciate him as an artist.

http://lemmymovie.com/blog/?p=461 (Information on how to obtain the Lemmy film)


- Joe

Faggot

-Novak

Shows

If you read this blog, chances are you're either in a band or go to shows to see ones. There's also an even greater chance that the band you're in or the band you're going to see sucks. It's not too late dorks. Read this and take good notes!

In a band? Cool. Just make damn sure none of this shit applies to you:


-Play your own music and get into it every time you play it. When you look bored, we're 10x as bored.

-Never do "shout outs". Your band sucks enough, don't slap your douchebag personality on top of the torture. 

-When opening for a big headliner, keep your set short and simple. That idea you had of playing every song hoping someone will be into at least one or two? No bueno.

-Don't call your band metal unless you're in a metal band. Just because that bald dude from Disturbed would be into it does not make it metal.

-If you play slap bass I'm breaking your fingers. 

-If you're playing a local show for your friends and your throwin out water bottles like there are 20,000 thirsty fans or you're spitting in the crowd you're going to get your face split wide the fuck open.

-Drummers with gloves are stupid.

-Unless you're an immortal music legend, don't fucking yell at the crowd to bring you a drink. Play your set and get it over with. We're the ones who needs the drink. 

-If you use a cordless microphone you better be in a Vanilla Ice cover band or be prepared to have beer bottles chucked at your head.

-Heckle the hecklers. You don't go into their Burger King job and heckle them, so why are they heckling you at yours?

-If you are putting more time into your outfit and or hair you should probably spend less time on stage. In fact, spend 0 time on stage. Stay at home with your ego and skinny jeans.

-Hair spinning is only allowed if your name is Beavis or Butthead. Knock it off morons.

Plan on going to a show? Don't leave the house without checking off at least every single one of these essentials:


-Stop texting!! You're at a show retard.

-Wearing a shirt of the band you're there to see. We know you're into them dude, you're at the fuckin show.

-Shouting out requests like they're your personal juke box is embarrassing to your whole city. Go home and don't come out until you're not a faggot.

-The merch guy is not your friend. He's hesitant to sell you a shirt because he knows you're going to embarrass the band. He's only talking to you because he thinks your girlfriend is hot.

-Sweaty fat dudes who take their shirts off? Come oonnnnnnn!!

-No one wants to see that 40 second video clip from your phone that you can't make out. And put your arms down asshole, your elbows in my eye.

-Yelling "free bird" is usually always funny. 

-If you run up for some lousy ass autograph while the bands half asleep, hauling their own gear in their van and you don't at least offer to help them - your balls are coming off. The band wants to pack up, go to slee,  and get out of your farm town. You're blowin it!

-Don't start fights. Take that shit to a gay bar.

-Having conversations during the entire show is one hell of an expensive hang out for you and one lousy fucking show for me. Eat a gun

-Hey! Tall dude in the front! Fuck you.

-If the mic gets handed to you and you don't know the words, pass the mic. Don't just scream and moan like a retard. Pass it to someone who came to the show for the band, not scene points.


-Novak

Red Barfed Tree

All the chorus on Colin's vocals really ruined this potentially decent record for me. I think they were trying a little too hard to revisit Pink Flag and probably realized halfway through they were fucked but apparently released it anyway. If you're a Wire fan, there's a few solid tracks on here I'm sure you'll appreciate, but not as much as you'd appreciate them keeping this album to themselves..

-Novak

Lady Haha

I don't think I could top Buddyhead's review.

-Novak

Oi!?

What ever happened to Oi!? I was listening to the "Voice of a Generation" LP by legendary Oi! veterans Blitz the other day and pondered that very same question myself. A once vibrant and relevant subculture of punk, Oi! seems to have disappeared in recent years, particularly in the United States. Despite the income disparity in the United States being the widest it's been since the Gilded Age of the late nineteenth century, this music genre typically associated with a "working class" ascetic has not seen a resurgence in popularity. While once notable groups such as the Angelic Upstarts, Blitz, Cockney Rejects, and Combat 84 participated in reunions and continued to record during this past decade, a relevant new band in the genre has yet to emerge. What accounts for this musical style not being played or listened to by America's youth these days? Perhaps the genre's association with either right wing or racist ideology has stigmatized it enough to make it something to be avoided in our present "PC" era, despite the long history of the genre (and skinheads in general) that predates the infiltration of said ideologies. Or is it that this genre is believed to be imported similarly as hockey or rugby are in sports? While many have heard of the English bands in the genre, little is known about the American bands such as Iron Cross (the Baltimore band whose song "Crucified" has become a legendary and much covered hardcore anthem), The Bruisers, or Anti-Heroes. It appears that, at least for now, Oi!'s legacy in the United States remains its influence on hardcore and punk bands such as Agnostic Front, Dropkick Murphy's, and Death Before Dishonor. While the influence is apparent to those who are familiar with the genre, I still yearn for a new  Oi! band with a "classical" sound to come out in the United States, release an album full of lyrics that reek of class-consciousness, and breathe life into this seemingly dead (yet still inspiring) genre. Oi! Oi! Oi!

- Joe

Record Stores in the Digital Age.

As a twenty-five year old individual, I have fond memories of shopping at various record stores around the Cleveland area including Ultrasound, My Mind's Eye, Chris' Warped Records, and so on. Many of these tiny shops acted less as stores and more as meeting halls, where local fans would meet one another, discuss shows, pass out demos, and generally congregate while escaping class, work, or other irritating responsibilities. As much as I would like to avoid sounding like a nostalgic old man rambling about the "glory days," I feel compelled to discuss how the digital age has transformed the very nature of every music culture. Clearly the digital age has made participation in any particular music culture easily achievable. For example, I think it is great that a fourteen year old boy or girl can wake up one day subjected to the constant loop of bull shit on MTV and by the next day have an entire punk rock catalog on his or her Ipod. The accessibility of music is something that helps bands and fans alike, and there is a clear correlation between the increased availability of music and the expansion of once minimalist independent music cultures, thus forcing everyone involved in said cultures to reassess their once narrow interpretations of what "independent" even means or is capable of meaning. Simply put, there are far more punks, indies, and metalheads than there were ten years ago. As expected, record labels (both independent and corporate) have survived the digital age by evolving accordingly. Digital downloads are purchased in droves as discs and records once were, although independent record labels still heavily benefit from the cultural norm of record ownership among independent music scenes. While labels are clearly surviving the digital age, record shops are not. In the past year, Cleveland fans paid their last respects to Ultrasound Music, owned and operated in Mentor / Willoughby by Gary Pflueger since 1995. I spent ample time at Gary's shop, and over the years (ever since I was a pimply faced kid buying death metal CDs and hiding the disgusting inserts from my mom) we developed a friendship. Gary was a kind of independent music guru for me, molding my tastes and shaping a very profound aspect of my personality, perhaps without even realizing it. I am not advocating for regression in this modern age, honestly I feel that record stores would benefit from an increased participation in the digital age and should seriously consider the idea of blending record stores with social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. What is true is that the record store as we know it has become a relic, so enjoy them while they are around. Travel to My Mind's Eye, meet  and discuss music with Charles (owner), and enjoy the company and surroundings. It's the closest thing to time traveling you'll ever participate in.

- Joe

Hi

What a way to start out. Two huge rants. We've each got our essential albums of the 2000's coming up and a few local events we'd like to see you at. In the meantime we're just going to bitch and moan. Enjoy!

------------------

My rant is about something a little simpler. To me, it's not really what you listen to, but how you listen to it. The last decade has brought mind blowing technology in and the simple process of listening and experiencing good music out. It's rare for a "release date" to be an event. Most dorks have the albums downloaded in some shit format that leaked a month before its release on some blog site and it's been listened to out of order in awful quality. Now they've heard it and aren't pleased so they've written a review their friends went along with before it's even out.. You don't do that with movies or books, so why water down music like that? You don't walk in the theater 40 minutes late, sit down, watch the last half, come back later and watch the beginning, so why do people do it with records? And yeah, it's all up to the listener. That doesn't make it any less stupid. It's pretty obvious no one really gives a shit about the quality music anymore.

The point I'm trying to make isn't to only hear lossless qualities of the music on million dollar stereos - it's to sit down and listen to an album as intended by the artist, which hopefully is to take time to listen to it in its entirety. Then again, I don't think "artists" out nowadays like Lady Gaga had music lovers in mind when she wrote her shit poop nonsense- so maybe everyones approach to listening to music is dead on.

Ever notice when you walk in a Best Buy you're bombarded with a plethora of HD tvs and video equipment, yet the most popular level of music technology there is a 2 inch piece of plastic with those little fucking ear buds? We couldn't care any less about quality. Just give us all the latest Lil Wayne, Lady Gaga, and Green Day mp3s my iPod can handle and we'll be shitting rainbows for weeks! Does this mp3 come with a poster? I love posters.
 
I'm still a fairly young guy yet I can still remember saving up the few dollars I made at my first job and going to stores to buy cds of bands the day they came out. That release date was anticipated for weeks. Whatever friends I had into that album, we'd all sit around and turn it up real loud and pass around the artwork it came with. Read who wrote what, where it was recorded, all the liner notes.. and that's all been washed up to just clicking a link and sliding it onto your iPod. Are you really that busy you can't take 40 minutes out of your shitty day to sit down and listen to a record all the way through? Would it really kill you to wait for the album to come out so you can experience it how it was intended to be?

To each his own I suppose, but I still think it just defeats the entire purpose. If we still had the format of an album, where songs are written to compliment one another and make a bigger picture both musically and visually- I think just maybe we'd have a better scene to sink our ears into. But unfortunately, we seemed to have replaced the love of music with the interest and dedication similar to an elementary school crush. You know, where you're only into the bitch because she's got nice hand writing and her shoes light up when she walks? Yeah. It's like that. And the bands and labels pumping out this shit are well aware that they're just background noise to your parties so both sides don't waste their time writing or distributing anything but disposable fucking garbage.

I know there's still bands, listeners, and record stores with these simple ideas out there. We're slowly coming back on the radar. In the meantime, I plan on supporting, praising, listening, and helping keep real musicians and music alive any way I can.



-Novak

tell me a story

Why is it that when you remove the narrative element from music most people no longer "get it"? Why aren't jazz and classical records selling like they used to? Why are there so many insipid television programs showcasing vocalists with more makeup than talent who for the most part aren't even writing their own material? And do I really have to endure the awful wailing of these infantile, shit-talking plastic icons every time I turn on the radio? Typically with some ridiculous electronic backdrop as a place-holder for a backing band...? What happened to the instruments? What is happening to the American music fan?

A combination of cynic and sociologist in me blames it on the following:
1. The half-assed education we receive in this country. Only the wealthy receive a healthy dose of art, literature and music in school. The rest of us went to public schools where those programs were the first to be cut when the economy took a downturn.
2. The infantilization of the public by the media. Does anyone actually become an adult anymore? A point in life at which we have achieved some level of balance and maturity? No... we get older but remain fat, stupid and selfish.
3. The shrinking attention span brought on by the onslaught of information and bad ideas coming at us from all sides... television, billboards, radio, the internet, cellphones which have brought the pandemic of poor language skills and deliberate stupidity to an amazing scale.

Do you really have to have someone telling you a story in order to have a satisfying experience of art? Are you really such a child? For some people that is probably the case. More often though it's just another example of something potentially beautiful and meaningful being subjugated to ego. Our species' capacity for this knows no bounds. And the vocal element of music is the most effective vehicle for the expression and display of ego. This of course is what people identify with. You'll notice that a strong percentage of song lyrics (perhaps the majority) are written in the first person perspective. Yes. And you can't say the words "I" or "me" with a saxophone.
Do some research. Pick up a book about the basic Buddhist principles. Or if that's too hard "google" it. Maybe look up Sigmud Freud while you're at it. When he wasn't fixating on sex he made a lot of valid points. Put "id", "ego", and "superego" into your search engine too.

After that, turn off the damned computer and grow up. If you manage to do that then get over yourself. It's time to let go of the bedtime story fetish and to adopt a more Copernican view of the tiny little being that is you... the rest of the universe does not revolve around it. Jazz is wonderful... classical music is beautiful and inspiring. Instrumental post-rock is the best thing to happen to modern music. You are depriving yourself of so much by stubbornly refusing to leave the visceral realm. And it pisses me off.


-Ryan