Showing posts with label Jonathan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jonathan. Show all posts

Jul 25, 2017

Sup nerds its jonathan i dont use periods or commas and im not novak so all this shit im going to post sucks 

This is every annoying sound I've ever heard all in one album. Seriously fucking stupid. 

Oh I'm Novak I tell people I like jazz so they don't think I'm an idiot. Shut the fuck up you fag you don't like this and you don't like jazz.


A whole CD of stupid noises. Bug zappers Telletubbies theme songs ugly instruments bees and other stupid ass shit garbage from start to finish.


If you're reading this fuck you.

-J Ken

Jul 24, 2017

We Have a New Writer!

Great news for people who hate me and also hate reading serious music reviews!    

   OK so before we get to the good news, it's story time. I was telling Jonathan the other day how funny it would be if he wrote for the blog. He of course just blew his cigarette smoke in my face, gave me a super mean look, and said "never in my life will I ever fucking blog. I'm not fucking gay." Sounds like a bummer, right? Well hang on!! 

 (So just to give a little insight on who Jonathan is and what happens when I play music of any kind in front of him; he's a very close friend who hates my non nonsensical jokes, cat, shoes, and especially every single band I like. He describes music in a very aggressive but almost child-like way. Basically, he's the man. If you don't agree with that after a few of these reviews, you should probably go lay in a fire.)

   He did however say I can just essentially copy and paste what he says in my car in person and post it as him online. Going forward, I'll post a video, song, or podcast I was listening to and try to remember word for word what Jonathan says about it. Here some of the most recent Jonathan reviews:


Pierre Henry/Michel Colombier- Métamorphose
 Are you fuckin serious?? This sounds like someone fell into a toy chest. What's with all these stupid ass noises? Jesus christ, turn this shit off! 

Talking Heads- 77 
Get it off! Get this Chuck E Cheese bullshit off!!!!

Can- Tago Mago  
People seriously like this? There's no fucking way.

  David Bowie- No Plan
It's too bad this fag didn't die before he wrote this bullshit. Don't play it again. It sucks.


-J Ken

Jun 15, 2017

Another word from Mr. Jonathan Kennedy

   Alright guys since Novak thinks he's so different and creative with this gay ass blog but really he's just a idiot with horrible taste in music who reads this shit anyway?! Probably the same amount of people that listen to his stupid ass podcast also I don't use periods or commas you know what I'm talking about. but seriously podcasts yeah who cares just two hours of people just talking to a computer yeah no thanks suck it

   All of Novak's Chuck E Cheese bullshit music can suck a dick he is so stupid so here are some songs you idiots should be playing!!


 GOLD! 

ITS A DEAD MANS PARTY WHO COULD ASK FOR MORE FUCK YOU IF YOU DONT LIKE THIS

FUCK YA SO GOOD ME AND THAT JACKASS NOVAK SAW THESE GUYS LIVE AND THERE SO GOOD

KICK START MY FUCKING HEART FUCK YEAH LOVE THIS ALBUM

ILL TUMBLE FOOOOOR YA! FUCK YA




aight this is gay suck it

-Jonathan

Mar 20, 2017

Zone Out Music: Updated

Back in 2015 I did a "best zone out music" post here. For many people, music can help out in far deeper ways than humans can. It obviously doesn't have to be music you can specifically zone out to for it to make you feel better. Sometimes heavy, loud shit makes you feel better, sometimes soft, ambient shit. I always seem to gravitate towards things that seem to open up a black hole and take me somewhere completely non physical, like these albums.

Now before you lose interest:
As I've been learning over the years, I can over explain the easiest things to the point of the person wanting to drive a semi truck through my face. So for all of these sappy explanations of albums that really do wonders for my brain, I'll counter that snooze fest with a review from the man himself, Jonathan to keep things more interesting.

Stars of the Lid- The Tired Sounds of
This album has been mentioned probably about 10 times now at this point. I know I said there was no order, but this would probably make the number 1 slot. I feel like I could be shot in the face and not even feel it if I had this album on with headphones. "Requiem for Dying Mothers, part 2" seems to obviously be about just that. It sounds like the deeply sorrowful soundtrack to watching your mother dying in a hospital bed. At the end of the track, you hear a dog whimpering which seems to be a  strong sign of her passing. 

The songs stay very minimal, unlike some other ambient music. There really isn't much layering or changing at all. Just an infinite sonic horizon. The album (despite that horribly depressing description) is an uplifting album to me. It makes you well aware of life's sadness, but carries you through it.

Jonathan's review:
Is this a joke? Nothing's fucking happening! This entire piece of shit album sounds like a gay ass intro to a movie I'd turn off within minutes. Complete fucking bullshit. What's next on this piece of shit blog?


Harmonia and Eno- Tracks and Traces
This album is a once in a lifetime lineup of some of the world's most influential electronic music pioneers. Not even being released until almost the mid 90's, this gem takes you to variety of planets. The material has a little more structure than Stars of the Lid, but definitely strays as far away from typical song structures. Perfect music to have on during your work day. 

Jonathan's Review:
There's no way Novak likes this shit. Were these retards even in the same room as each other? No one's playing to each other and all of their instruments sound broken! So fucking stupid.


Alessandro Cortini- Risveglio
This one is a huge one for me. Alessandro has been involved with many projects/albums I've blogged about in here. His more obvious role was long time keyboardist for Nine Inch Nails. This music was made with the strange and complex Buchla synths. Synthesizers that look like they were dropped off from high tech aliens. Much like the rest of these albums, the music strays very far from song based performances and is much more of an abstract, repetitive synths and drone performance. 

I listened to this album the first time I tripped in the desert alone at night. It was the most intense night of my life in every way imaginable, and this was the soundtrack to a very big chunk of it. (Well, when shit got a little too heavy, I'd toss on Talking Heads to come back to earth and laugh a little..) 

Jonathan's Review: 
This guy did Sonoio and it was sweet. Whatever this is fucking sucks. Nothing is happening!! Just stupid fucking sounds for stupid fucking people. How much more shit are we going to talk about on this thing? Oh but let me guess... that idiot Novak did drugs and listened to this in the desert so he just jacks off to it now? Go back there and stay there you fag. Take this bullshit CD with you too. 
 
Trent Reznor/Atticus Ross- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
This one is the most unlike the rest of these, and more likely to be compared to more traditional sounding albums. There are plenty of layers, plenty of changes, and in return it takes you to many places. This is the go to album for me when I'm painting, reading, or just in general - working on something non musical. I think it honestly was from seeing the movie. The main investigator, Mikael, has an impeccable attention to even the most obscure details in his case. He rarely sleeps, eats, or shows emotion. Something about that translates for me directly to the score, which in return makes me feel like a robot when I'm working. 

Jonathan's Review: 
Oh Trent Reznor huh? Yeah not a chance in hell this will be anything but fucking dog shit. The only good thing about this piece of gay shit is not having to hear that faggots voice on it. Are we done yet? I want Qdoba. 
  
Yo La Tengo- The Sounds of the Sounds of Science
This is the most recent obsession of mine. It's perfect from start to finish. Big thanks to Chislow for showing me this one. Eight tracks made to accompany eight underwater documentary style short films. The effects on the drums is what makes this stand out the most to me as an underwater feel. We've all heard tremolo on guitars, but it was a nice, unique touch adding it to the percussion tracks. 

Perfect album to get in your car, turn your phone on airplane mode, and just drive at night to.

Jonathan's Review: 
Holy shit who cares about music that goes to movies. I would rather light myself on fire than watch some fucking movie about fish and listen to this shit. Gay as fuck. 



Well that's it. Check out these albums if you haven't heard them, and someone please hook Jonathan up with some Qdoba and some lighter fluid. 

-Novak