Great news for people who hate me and also hate reading serious music reviews!
OK so before we get to the good news, it's story time. I was telling Jonathan the other day how funny it would be if he wrote for the blog. He of course just blew his cigarette smoke in my face, gave me a super mean look, and said "never in my life will I ever fucking blog. I'm not fucking gay." Sounds like a bummer, right? Well hang on!!
(So just to give a little insight on who Jonathan is and what happens
when I play music of any kind in front of him; he's a very close friend
who hates my non nonsensical jokes, cat, shoes, and especially every
single band I like. He describes music in a very aggressive but almost
child-like way. Basically, he's the man. If you don't agree with that
after a few of these reviews, you should probably go lay in a fire.)
He did however say I can just essentially copy and paste what he says in my car in person and post it as him online. Going forward, I'll post a video, song, or podcast I was listening to and try to remember word for word what Jonathan says about it. Here some of the most recent Jonathan reviews:
Pierre Henry/Michel Colombier- Métamorphose
Are you fuckin serious?? This sounds like someone fell into a toy chest. What's with all these stupid ass noises? Jesus christ, turn this shit off!
Talking Heads- 77
Get it off! Get this Chuck E Cheese bullshit off!!!!
Can- Tago Mago
People seriously like this? There's no fucking way.
David Bowie- No Plan
It's too bad this fag didn't die before he wrote this bullshit. Don't play it again. It sucks.
-J Ken