This on loop.

Feeling more deeply disconnected from everyone than ever. Like I say in almost all of these pointless posts no one even reads, music explains emotions to me far better than my words ever will. Yet for some reason I still try. 

Roedelius, Arnold Kasar: Rolling

This song feels like it hits all the most felt things lately. Moments of peace and confidence after leaving someone who consistently hurt you and made you feel more weird than you already felt, moments of hope you’re ready for someone new followed by a deep, terrifying and very permanent wave of isolation as you run from any opportunity of it. That you’re just too fucking impossible of a person for love. Waves of feeling “home” and connected to friends, musicians you’re working with, or a person for one or all of those to only turn into embarrassment when they all seem to go back to a place a million miles away from you at the end of the day, and your brain made the whole “connection” up in the first place. 

Oh, and lots of moments of simply floating in mid air. I have it on loop for so long that sometimes it feels like you’re floating if it’s up loud enough and you relax your entire body correctly. 

Anyway, here’s the stupid song about all these stupid words. I’m going to stupid bed.